Are you feeling bored, frustrated, or maybe that you have more to give to the world?  Is more than half of your life over and you haven't fulfilled your dreams? This feeling can create chaos inside of you that will make healthy living impossible.

I took years off of a traditional job to raise my kids as I wanted to be available for them after school and in the morning to send them off with a hot breakfast.  I volunteered for their school, was a Commissioner for the community, the fundraising chair for scouts, renovated multiple dwellings, and searched for real estate that would help our net worth grow.  It was all about the family and I dove in 100 percent.

Now my kids are teens and I am facing the next stage of my life.  It has taken some meditation, discussion with my sisters, and soul searching to figure out the way I want to spend my time as I approach this third chapter of my life.  

I can fantasize about huge things but do I really have the desire and energy to work that hard?  My priorities have always been family first, feeling like I am contributing to the world and travel.   It is not money.  Freedom is everything to me, not things, so I don't care about fancy shoes, watches, or cars.  However, I will keep my health club membership so that I can live these years with energy and strength.  Knowing who you are at this stage of your life is paramount in order to move forward 

1. Set reasonable but not rigid goals:  Set goals that you believe you can achieve given your talents and experience.  You need to feel successful to stay on your chosen path.  In my case, I finished and published my book.   ( I wanted my kids to see me finish something that I started before they were born).  Figuring out a strategy to market it would be a smart next step.  

2.  Leap first and let motivation follow:  This is true for working out as well.  I can preach this all day but you won't believe it until you actually do it.  Ask yourself, if I was motivated now, what would I be doing?  Make the phone calls, the appointments, spruce up the resume, and see if you feel motivated to do more.  Lack of motivation is a way that our minds can mask anxiety about getting started.  Give yourself a little reward when you take a scary action.

3.  Practice being assertive:  Sometimes you may feel beat down or are not getting what you need.  You could be responsible for all the home care, not have the right tools to work with, or be caring for your elderly parents.  You may be doing all this and not even be valued for it!  Who can you ask to get the help you need?  What boundaries can you set for yourself?  This is true for both work and home life.  I spent this past year being more direct and setting boundaries.  This was a big deal for someone who values being a "Good Girl" but it is true, we teach others how to treat us.  

4.  Set limits to your work time and reward yourself when complete:  I don't know about you, but I am too old to work 16 hour days.  Now, I did pull an all-nighter when I was on a deadline, but it is rare.    Again, I know my priorities so I do not let anyone make me feel guilty for eating dinner with my kids or watching Gilmore Girls with my daughter.  

5.  Don't allow age or low self-esteem to lower your sights:  Do not undervalue yourself.  If you have dreamed of starting a business or writing that book, then do it.   Take that first step and see how you feel.  Those dreams are inside of you for a reason and having regret is a terrible thing.  You may find that it is not what you thought it would be, but you will never know if you don't start. 

6.  Be objective about failure:  Setbacks and errors are all part of the process.  Look at each situation objectively.  Sometimes we screw up.  So what.  Sometimes it is circumstances beyond our control.  Sometimes we just have a fear of failure.  I am doing my best to compartmentalize and not measure my personal value with career achievement.  I don't want to waste any of my time feeling unworthy.  A failure just means that I need to try another angle or maybe reevaluate my career choice.  Why it took me half a century to realize this, I do not know, but it sure is liberating!

7.  Reevaluate your career choice:  What may have motivated you at 20, may not motivate you at 50 plus.  You may not be able to change jobs for financial reasons but you may wish to start a side-hustle or find a way to take on a different role at work.  Listen to your inner voice and allow yourself to meditate on your future.  Then take action!

I would love to know if you have changed careers or your life direction during mid-life.  Your experiences may help another, so always feel free to leave a comment so that we can learn from you. 

If you are interested in joining a Lean In Circle to navigate this time of your life, please let me know.   Together we will provide accountability, love, and support on our journeys. This group is free and is part of Sheryl Sandberg's non-profit: Lean In.org.  I'll find a way for us to meet 1x per month on zoom or create a Facebook group for us if you want to meet more frequently.  

You are worth it!  

xo Jamie